 My mission:
I think the world is greatly affected and influenced by how well or poorly people function in what could arguably be called the most important relationship in their lives: their marriage. I want my contribution to be helping people improve their relationships so they can be happier and more productive in their lives, and the lives of the people around them.
Marriage, and the many variations of that partnership (living together, civil unions, common law marriages, etc.) have almost unlimited possibility for joy, personal growth, deep emotional connection, fulfillment, and achievement. Unfortunately, it also can present enormous challenges and lead to pain, destruction and perpetuation of damaging personal beliefs.
The statistics are staggeringly bad. Almost 60% of first marriages end in divorce. Second marriages fail at an even higher rate, and sooner. And what most people don't realize is what THEY contributed to the problems, and what they need to learn and change so they can get a different result. If that honest evaluation isn't made, then it's a situation where "where ever you go, there you are!" and the problems repeat. Many of the same exact problems get taken right along into the future relationships. The collateral damage is awful. Children suffer the most - broken homes, less contact with parents, often a reduction in lifestyle and income, hardships emotionally, and the worst: the beginning of a belief that they aren't "good enough" or "lovable enough" for their own parents to stay and raise them. It changes forever their definitions of "love", "commitment", and "emotional safety".
My wish is that with each marriage or long-term relationship I help, we not only create positive change for that couple, but create a positive change in their home, where they are the "family of origin" for their children. Their children will change how they are in future relationships because of the change they see and will emulate from their parents. Then their children's lives will be different… and so it goes. When we stop a cycle of violence, or even just a cycle of ineffective parenting, poor communication or self esteem problems, those are changes that carry on into generations we will never see. Family styles and patterns of talking, fighting, parenting, showing love, and keeping promises are passed down. It makes me very happy to help people and pass down better things.
Media Appearances:
Julie appeared on the Dr. Phil Show on 9/22/06, on 5/23/07 and again on 11/21/07. In the Fall 07 season, she will be providing counseling services to the Dr. Phil Show as well as the "Decision House Show".
"Just Ask Julie" Columns:
May 2007 (pdf File, opens in new window)
Contact Julie
You can contact Julie at
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